Don't Talk to Strangers

My mother is a Lutheran,

My father is a Lutheran,

That’s why I am a Lutheran,

I am Lutheran, I am!

This is a song that was introduced to me at a young adult conference here in South Africa, and since then I have been well exposed to it- in Masealama and elsewhere. Once I started to think about the lyrics, I realized the important question which is often raised to which this song responds... Why are you a Lutheran?

My answer is simple, and I am sure many would respond in the same way- I was raised Lutheran. I am Lutheran because my parents baptized me as such and have dragged me to church every Sunday since- willing or not. This song addresses how my Lutheran roots began, but not how I have chosen to continue being a Lutheran since then.

After 18, you are no longer under your parents’ control, at least not legally. You begin your independent life, and begin making choices for yourself instead of doing what is instructed of you. Whether you go off to university or find a job and enter into the “real world”, you will likely be exposed to a completely new environment full of diversity. In my experience, I ventured off to the University of Clemson to pursue my degree in architecture. While I did not travel that far from home, when I first set foot on campus I met people from all different walks of life- students and teachers who were rich, poor, white, black, Christian, Muslim, American, South African, doctors, engineers, and everything in between. In fact, about the only thing my roommate and I had in common was that we were both girls. As I interacted with this diversity and made friends, I was exposed to a wide variety of traditions, cultures, and religions that I did not find in my neighborhood school system or Sunday school classes. This sudden exposure to diversity often has a confusing effect on young adults.

It is not surprising then that, in a recent survey conducted by LifeWay Research, 7 in 10 previously active Protestants between the ages of 18 and 30 said that they had quit attending church regularly by the age of 23. This drop occurs over that crucial period where youth become independent from their parents and guardians and begin to make decisions for themselves. As our youth rapidly disappear from our churches, the question we should ask is, what are we doing or not doing that is causing this?

In a world which seems to be becoming ever more diverse, we find ourselves increasingly exposed to “strangers”- whether it is in university, in our workplace, on the internet, in the news, or even in the house next door. As immigration increases and people of varying cultures and religions disperse across the globe, as our international media coverage becomes more widespread, and as our international relations become more intertwined, the lives of others who used to be so far separated from us are suddenly thrust in our faces. And if the church does not respond well to this increasing diversity and practice pluralism instead of just preaching tolerance, no wonder our youth wind up confused and loose faith in their particular religious institution! They are constantly surrounded by diversity and taught to be tolerant of others, but they are not properly equipped to resolve this tolerance with their religious beliefs. For example, imagine you attend a university and you become close friends with a person who is Muslim. You know this person to be kind, trustworthy, faithful, loving, and maybe you even consider them to be a better than yourself. Then comes the question- because you are Christian and believe in God and Jesus Christ as your savior, does this mean that you have to believe that your new friend will not be going to heaven? Why would they be cast aside merely because of their Muslim beliefs when they seem to have more faith and spirituality than you do? The result of this internal conflict usually leaves the youth in confusion and doubt in their religion, and without knowing how to resolve it, they drop out and relate to each other on secular terms. Much easier to handle, and it seems to be a viable solution to moving toward a pluralistic society. Or maybe as you discuss beliefs with your Muslim friend, you find that some parts of their religion make a lot of sense. But how can you still be Christian if you find truths in other faiths?

You see the dilemma. 18 to 30 year old youths are constantly faced with these questions, and in the process of finding themselves in this new world, they often loose their connection to organized religion. So how can our churches begin to address this? As our society becomes increasingly diverse, ecumenical interactions are becoming more prevalent. Maybe your church interacts with other churches down the street as you gather for a dinner, or you all combine together to donate clothing to a homeless shelter. But during these interactions, how many of your youth and children are involved? Do you ever address the fundamental differences in beliefs that separate you, and how they are resolved so that you can promote interaction in events such as these? We spend so much time teaching our children and youth what it means to be Christian, or specifically, what it means to be Lutheran, that we forget to teach them what this means in their relation to others of varying beliefs.

After three years of confirmation classes and a lifetime of church attendance, I thought I had it all figured out. When I went to Clemson, I knew that I wanted to connect with the Lutheran church as soon as I got there- join the choir, be a member of the Lutheran Campus Ministry (LCM), and continue my life in the church where I knew I belonged. It was a simple choice that I made, unknowing of the diversity I would face and the questions which would be raised in my faith. If it had not been for Campus Ministry, I would probably be among those seven youth who drop out of protestant churches by the age of 23. But LCM provided me with the tools necessary to resolve these internal conflicts. On Wednesday night gatherings we would have speakers from other denominations and religions come and speak on their beliefs. We would ask questions, locate differences, but on top of everything, find communal beliefs that brought us together and learn how religions could fit into a pluralistic world. LCM taught me how to relate to people of different cultures and beliefs without loosing my own beliefs, and how the relation between us could actually strengthen both of us. Of course, this has just been further strengthened here in South Africa. I may be relating mainly to Lutherans, but our cultures are widely different. But, because of LCM, I do not try to change them, they do not try to change me, and together we learn from each other.

“To each of you God has prescribed a law and a way. If God would have willed, He would have made you a single people. But God’s purpose is to test you in what he has given each of you, so strive in the pursuit of virtue, and know that you will all return to God, and He will resolve the matters in which you disagree.”

Here is your quiz: where in the Bible does this inspirational excerpt appear? It sounds vaguely like it could be Paul’s words to the Galatians, but no, this text comes from the Qur’an 5:49. It speaks a message which is resonated in the Bible, and maybe even puts things more clearly than Paul does. We may all have different beliefs, but if we strive to be the best Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, whatever we believe- then we will all return to the one God who unites us. That is how I have currently resolved conflicting faiths in my life, and how I have maintained my Lutheran beliefs over the confusing years of my independent life. My hope is that churches will begin to respond to diversity early with the youth in their congregations, so maybe the staggering statistics of youth leaving protestant churches will begin to fall. That way, when they are asked “Why Lutheran” by someone with different beliefs somewhere down the road, they are able to answer them with the confidence that although their faiths may conflict, they do not divide.

~Heather Anne Nelson